


Counting Stars

by neversaydie



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Brotherly Love, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Panic, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Siblings, juno steel is fucked up and ben knows it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-11-24 09:57:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20905769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neversaydie/pseuds/neversaydie
Summary: Something is damaged, deep inside Juno.Benten knows that. He doesn't know if their mother broke it or if Juno just came out of the womb that way, but if Juno needs some help to hold his broken pieces together then that's what Ben's going to do. Juno protects him, the least he can do is protect back.[in which Juno gets a little comfort, then remembers.]





	Counting Stars

**Author's Note:**

> prompt word: light.

"How many do you think are up there?"

"You can't even see them from here," Juno grumbles and rolls over, closing his eyes and curling up a little tighter around his growling stomach. He doesn't understand how his brother can be so energetic when it's still _ hours _until they can turn up at school early for a free breakfast. "Go to sleep, Benten."

Complaints of not being able to sleep from his twin had led to Juno telling him to count stars to drop off. He didn't mean literally go to the window and try and count through the Oldtown smog, which Benten knows perfectly well, but his brother's fanciful streak is sweet… even if Juno could do without it at this time of night. 

"D'you remember when you wanted to be a space pirate?"

"I remember when I wanted my brother to shut up and let me sleep."

"I just think it would be cool, y'know? To go up there one day, go someplace else."

"People from Oldtown don't go to space, man. You know how much that costs?" Juno doesn't mean to rain on Benten's parade, but when he rolls over guiltily his brother doesn't look upset. He's still staring out of the grimy window, eyes wide in the dim neon streetlight as he tries to see beyond the dirt. "But yeah… I guess that would be cool."

"What would you call your ship?"

"Am I going full space pirate? Because if we're talking pirate ship then-"

Three sudden, deafening bangs on their door cut him off, and Juno just about jumps out of his skin. He's on his feet before he realises, putting himself between her and Benten when-

"Shut up, you two! Don't make me come in there!"

Then silence, Juno and Ben don't breathe. Then she walks away, unsteady footsteps down the hall until her bedroom door slams shut. 

"We weren't even loud, she's just cranky," Ben mutters, like their actual behaviour would make a damn lick of difference to how Sarah behaved. He doesn't get the worst of it, not unless she mistakes him for his brother and then smothers him with apologies and excuses immediately, but Juno… 

Juno knows better. Staring at the closed door with his heart racing like he's standing at the edge of a tall building and being forced to jump, he's all seized up like he can't decide whether to fight or run or… 

"Jay? Get in with me, c'mon," Benten's hands are warm on Juno's bare arms, always mindful of the bruises that never seem to heal from where their mother grabs him again and again, and gently steers his brother over to his side of the room. Juno freezes up like this sometimes, when he's scared, and Benten feels just as helpless every time. "It's okay, lay down."

Something is damaged, deep inside Juno. Benten knows that. He doesn't know if their mother broke it or if Juno just came out of the womb that way, but if Juno needs some help to hold his broken pieces together then that's what Ben's going to do. Juno protects him, the least he can do is protect back. 

"We can get a lock for the door. A bolt thing," Ben is already taller than Juno, even at twelve, so it's easy to let his brother tuck himself into his chest and hide. Everyone at school thinks Juno is scary, that he scowls at them and grunts his answers and gets into fights because he's angry, but Benten knows he's just terrified. All the time. 

"She'll be mad when she finds out," _ and that will just make it worse _goes unspoken, because they both already know it. Juno makes a choked sound and Ben squeezes him tight, because there's nothing else he can do. "I'm tired, Ben." 

Benten chooses to believe Juno's talking about needing to sleep, because the other prospect is too big and scary for him to touch. 

"Count stars," the apartment is quiet, now. Sarah has probably passed out, but Ben can feel the lingering tension in his brother's tight limbs regardless. Juno didn't forget how to rest, Ben thinks, he just never learned in the first place. "I'll keep you safe."

Eventually, Juno sleeps.   
  


"How many do you think are out there?"

"Galaxies on galaxies," Peter shifts a little where he's resting against the wall with Juno tucked into his side, trying not to shiver too much in what they've grandly titled the observation deck, but is realistically a small viewing platform at the back of the ship. His detective has been restless tonight, antsy and uncomfortable in his skin until Peter suggested a change of scenery might help more than tossing around in bed. "But it's nice to try and count them when things seem too small, isn't it?"

"Yeah," Juno's eyes are closed, when Peter glances down, and he tucks the blanket around them both just a little tighter. Neither of them are particularly used to comfort, it's nice to be reminded that they can have it, sometimes. Even if the safest thing they have is counting stars. "I guess it is."


End file.
